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— Comedian Stephen Colbert, on what GOP presidential candidates will have to do to secure his endorsement.
“Today I say again to President Assad of Syria: Stop the violence. Stop killing your people.”
— U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, criticizing the Syrian president amid a brutal crackdown on dissent.
“In theory, it was possible, and in reality, it now is done.”
— Jason Evans, on laying a half-mile hose between a Russian fuel tanker and a snowed-in Alaska town.
“All they have to do is come kiss my ring like they did Donald Trump’s.”
— Comedian Stephen Colbert, on what GOP presidential candidates will have to do to secure his endorsement.