‘Shadows’ lacks bite

By RANDY MYERS

San Jose Mercury News, Calif.

Tim Burton’s reboot of the trippy soap opera “Dark Shadows” isn’t the campy comedy its trailer leads us to believe.

And therein lies the problem: “Shadows,” starring Burton regular Johnny Depp as iconic bloodsucker Barnabas Collins, doesn’t know what in the heck it wants to be, flitting around like a mindless bat from naughty comedy to watered-down horror show to loud action flick. At one point, it even appears to emulate that macabre 1992 comedy “Death Becomes Her.”

All that genre hopping results in a production that’s completely toneless — a big disappointment considering its potential. It’s got a great cast, and Burton actually does nail many artistic details, thanks to the masterful efforts of photography director Bruno Delbonnel and production designer Rick Heinrichs.

In fact, many signature elements that made the 1966-1971 show so addictive get splendidly polished: the wild surf crashing onto those black rocks, the Gothic look of Collinwood Manor and that weird, hypnotic music.

There are even cameos from the original cast, including the late Jonathan Frid, who played Barnabas, and a curious appearance by rocker Alice Cooper.

But halfway through, “Shadows” goes way off the rails, resorting to cheap sex jokes and overbloated action. The tide turns when the 18th-century Barnabas, unearthed by construction workers, tangles with his lusty female nemesis Angelique (a game, bewitching Eva Green). Their grudge match deals a hefty blow to the 1972 Maine fishing town of Collinsport, where the out-of-touch, stiff-collared Barnabas meets his blood relatives, who are altogether ooky, kooky and a touch like “The Addams Family.”

There’s also a derivative tone to much of “Shadows,” the eighth collaboration between Burton and Depp, signaling again that the once dynamic duo is slumping into a predictable pattern. As with “Alice in Wonderland,” quirky flourishes sprinkled in here and there raise the game — just not enough.

Depp remains charming, funny and sexy as usual. He plays Barnabas as a fish-out-of-water, but the performance has a whiff of deja vu. You can’t help but wish he’d return to the risk-taking Johnny of “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?” and find juicier material to sink his fangs into.

Initially, the screenplay by hotshot screenwriter Seth Grahame-Smith (“Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”) and John August (“Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”) shows promise, juxtaposing humor (hippies in a VW bus offering Barnabas a ride) with horror (Barnabas slaying construction workers).

A prologue swiftly recaps the convoluted soap opera back story about how Barnabas was cursed into becoming a vampire in the 18th century by the witchy Angelique, and how she hypnotized Barnabas’ true love — Josette — to jump off a cliff.

At first, the scenes in which Barnabas awakens more than 200 years later to a world of TVs and cars are humorous, even laugh-out-loud funny, but they become tiresome after a while.

The cast tries the best it can, but their characters aren’t fully fleshed out. The notable exception is Michelle Pfeiffer, who is spot on and stunning as Elizabeth Collins, a matriarch trying to keep up appearances. Helena Bonham Carter, as the often-soused psychiatrist Dr. Julia Hoffman, isn’t given enough screen time, and I found myself missing her signature wacky ways.

Others in the family fare a bit worse: Chloe Grace Moretz, who plays Carolyn, Elizabeth’s temperamental 16-year-old daughter, is trying way too hard. Jonny Lee Miller is all but wasted as Elizabeth’s sticky-fingered brother. And Gully McGrath as the young David, who believes his dead mother is still haunting the manor’s halls, is just, well, bland. Even poor Victoria Winters (Bella Heathcote), who is introduced early and sort of sets the plot into motion, is nearly abandoned ‘til the end.

Speaking of the end, “Shadows” leaves us with the sense that this isn’t the last time we’ll be seeing Barnabas and company. One can only hope that next time they’ll work out the kinks.