First and foremost, “Lollipop Chainsaw” is a T&A game, so it starts like this:
First and foremost, “Lollipop Chainsaw” is a T&A game, so it starts like this:
You see pretty Juliet in her cheerleader outfit, doing a split on her bed on the morning of her 18th birthday.
“Welcome to my bedroom,” she says in a seductive little cutie-pie voice.
Over the course of the next 10 hours or so, Juliet is going to say much naughtier things while bending over to reveal upskirt camera angles.
Uh, this is true.
You portray Juliet, the zombie slayer, and you kill zombies — zombie students, cops, punk rockers and others — at your school, on a farm, on a UFO and elsewhere.
You kill them by kicking them, sawing off their heads or torsos with a chainsaw, and (later in the game) by shooting them.
I beat the game easily by jumping over zombies constantly — employing my cheerleader jumping skills — and chainsawing them from behind.
OK, look, we need to talk about “Lollipop Chainsaw” in three ways.
1. The gameplay begins as a pretty good romp but it gets more fun by the hour. I ended up loving it.
It’s a hack-and-slash game, created by Goichi Suda, 44, who previously helmed “No More Heroes,” “Killer7” and “Shadows of the Damned.” But “Lollipop” is his best writing and directing so far.
There is real variety. In a few levels, you chop off zombie heads, which land in a basketball basket to score your points. At other times, you swing on a stripper’s pole, chainsawing hordes of zombies as they attack.
The only bummers: The button-mashing is very repetitive. I took a break every 20 minutes or so to rest my thumbs. And the camera controls felt floppity to me.
To enjoy the silly storylines and funny dialogue, you must enjoy lowbrow humor. For instance, when one punk screams at you in pain, you joke, “So emo.”
2. The aesthetics seem inspired by comic book art and by girly stickers. Often when you kill villains, the TV screen floods with red hearts and silver glitter.
So if you play this game, you better enjoy kitschy girl power, which includes sexually empowered girl stuff.
3. So yes, the sexuality is a formidable tease — raunchy without giving nudity or sex. You can change Juliet’s hot little outfits, including a bikini made of seashells.
Here are two direct quotes from male characters: “I never thought I’d be saved by someone with such great (expletive).”
And: “Juliet, I’m so totally gonna (expletive) to you tonight.”
Here’s the deal. While playing “Lollipop,” I thought: Every opinion of this game is valid. Call it female objectification, and I’d agree. Call it female empowerment, and I’d agree.
Call is sexy — or sexist — and I’d agree.
Is it a typical male fantasy of a hot cheerleader? Or is it an aspirational female fantasy of being a hot, smart butt-kicker, a la Drew Barrymore’s “Charlie’s Angels?”
It’s both. Welcome to 2012 feminism.
(“Lollipop Chainsaw” by Warner Bros Games retails for $60 for Xbox 360 and PS 3 – Plays fun. Looks good. Moderately challenging. Rated “M” for blood, gore, drug reference, intense violence, partial nudity, sexual themes, strong language. Four out of four stars.)
Doug Elfman is an entertainment writer for the Las Vegas Review-Journal. His column appears each Friday in the Tribune-Herald. Contact him at DElfman@reviewjournal.com.