Hundreds packed St. Joseph Catholic Church in Hilo on a warm June day to watch a 21-year-old Irene Santos walk down the aisle to meet her groom, Bernard Gomes. ADVERTISING Hundreds packed St. Joseph Catholic Church in Hilo on a
Hundreds packed St. Joseph Catholic Church in Hilo on a warm June day to watch a 21-year-old Irene Santos walk down the aisle to meet her groom, Bernard Gomes.
The future Mrs. Gomes beamed as she was escorted by her uncle, wore a white satin gown, a veil adorned with orange blossoms and held a bouquet of white Cattleya orchids and lilies.
The ceremony was followed by a luau reception in Paukaa and a two-week honeymoon in Honolulu.
“It was very special,” Irene recalls.
That was June 30, 1951. Irene is now 86; Bernard, 89. The longtime East Hawaii residents have been married 66 years. Today marks more than six decades they’ve celebrated Valentine’s Day as husband and wife.
On Friday, the Gomeses met for an interview at the Life Care Center of Hilo where Bernard, who has dementia, now resides.
Irene, clutching her husband’s hand, said she encourages newlyweds — and other couples striving for similarly long-lasting marriages — to “get to know each other real good” before tying the knot.
“I took a vow to get married,” Irene said, a folded yellowed newspaper clipping detailing their ceremony and reception years ago on the table beside them. “And I believe it’s until eternity.”
Irene was a senior at Hilo High School when she met Bernard, who was three years older and already at work. Originally, they “were just friends,” she says. They dated three years.
Bernard, an Army veteran, attended college on the G.I. Bill. In 1947, he accepted a book binding apprenticeship at the Tribune-Herald. He worked at the Hilo newspaper nearly 50 years, retiring as production manager in 1994.
Irene said their early marriage had a learning curve — they were still getting use to each other. She’s the oldest of 12. He was an only child. As newlyweds, they resided with Bernard’s family — a living situation Irene describes as “really hard.”
“The first five years is the most challenging (of marriage),” Irene said. “It’s all about getting to know you. You’re getting to know the person — really getting to know them. Because while you’re going together, they don’t tell you everything. You don’t really know the inside until you get married.”
Through the years, they’ve weathered plenty of ups and downs. There have been day-to-day decisions, inevitable disagreements and life challenges, such as finances. There also was an adjustment to having children — the duo ultimately parented three.
“There are times that things don’t work out good money-wise, or planning things, or times we didn’t really agree,” Irene said. “But things worked out. One person has to give in and usually I gave into him.”
In recent years, challenges have taken a different turn. In 2013, Irene had to make a gut-wrenching decision to place Bernard at the Life Care Center after he’d been showing signs of decline.
“I could tell something was wrong, and gradually I couldn’t taken care of him,” she said, eyes filling with tears. “I didn’t know what it would be like to be separated (from him). But I finally agreed.”
Irene now visits Bernard almost daily. She said her favorite things about her husband have always remained the same.
“He’s understanding, trustworthy and he’s honest,” she said. “He’s always been very good to me.”
Email Kirsten Johnson at kjohnson@hawaiitribune-herald.com.
