Dying is a sure thing. Accepting it intellectually is easy. Embracing it emotionally, however, is extremely difficult, not only when it applies to ourselves, but especially when our loved ones face it.
Dying is a sure thing. Accepting it intellectually is easy. Embracing it emotionally, however, is extremely difficult, not only when it applies to ourselves, but especially when our loved ones face it.
To die with grace and dignity is the universal wish of all who contemplate it. If we don’t plan for our death as we would for all major changes in our lives, chances of a graceful death diminish considerably. Toward this end, East Hawaii is on a mission to educate our citizens about having “the conversation” with others, especially those nearest to us.
The uphill battle is made difficult when our culture tends to deny death, instead embracing the miracles of medical advances that can prolong life at all cost. Making wishes known — ahead of time — results in promoting or ending treatments.
Knowledge is power. Knowing the difference between curative and palliative (comfort) care is paramount. When loved ones know your wishes, agonizing decision-making is as natural as life itself. Time is fleeting, and the ultimate act of love is to voice needs well before you are on life’s final journey.
Each of us will face death alone. However, if we are a community willing to have the conversation, so that dying in the manner each of us chooses becomes reality, we will get closer to the community of La Crosse, Wis. (“The Town Where Everyone Talks About Death,” NPR, March 5, 2014).
People in La Crosse talk about death like we speak of the weather, even chastising those without an advance health care directive. There’s no magic in the form; the magic comes from the community conversation which helps us accept death so as to live life to its fullest. Isn’t it common sense to have the conversation today to better assure our decisions are carried out?
Moving East Hawaii toward accomplishing what La Crosse has done are people like Chris Ridley, Charlene Iboshi, Amy Hamane and Katherine Rycraft, who are promoting “the conversation.” They and other volunteers have been introducing advance health care directives to numerous groups in business, churches and clubs. An advance health care directive documents wishes for the care you choose at the end of your life. If you have not completed a directive, you can find one online at www.caringinfo.org.
To facilitate the conversation, a documentary titled “Being Mortal” will be shown June 24 at the William Charles Lunalilo Center on the Kamehameha Schools Hawaii campus in Keaau. Doors open at 10 a.m. and the one-hour screening will begin at 10:30 a.m. with a panel discussion to follow. This free showing is a moving account of how Americans face death and features the inspiring story of one man’s graceful end.
Hospice of Hilo, well-known for compassionate and quality care, is a service we can count on far earlier than the six-month prognosis usually associated with accessing hospice care.
Kupu Care, developed about a year ago, enables patients and their families to access support for physical and emotional effects of treatment/depression, anxiety, fear and issues with comfort management. (For questions about Kupu Care, contact Hospice of Hilo.)
Because most wish to die at home, Hospice of Hilo provides home health services. If unable to be at home, Pohai Malama, this island’s only in-patient facility, is a resource that not only is beautiful, but provides patients and their extended families great comfort. We all know of people whose lives have been deeply touched and enriched by the level of care received under Hospice of Hilo.
When under great duress such as end of life, talking about finances is even more challenging. Costly treatments that prolong suffering without assurance of ending disease can potentially bankrupt loved ones. Such tragedies are avoided if the conversation were to take place. Making informed decisions about our care is necessary.
Finally, permit us to address physicians, those whose curative skills keep our community healthy. We deeply trust and honor the guidance provided by our doctors. We count on them to be truthful about our condition and to provide us with information, especially at this most difficult time. Trained to prolong life, it is difficult to accept death, even if one’s prognosis is dire.
Assisting us and our families to accept the inevitable is also how our trust and confidence in their ability is earned. Indeed, it might be the worthiest, most meaningful way to forever seal the doctor-patient relationship, for guiding us and our loved ones along this end-of-life journey is as critical as keeping us healthy.
Karen Maedo is a teacher and financial adviser. She continues to give back to the community via volunteer work with Community First, Hawaii Island Adult Care, Hospice of Hilo and her temple, Honpa Hongwanji Hilo Betsuin.
Barry Taniguchi is the CEO and chairman of KTA Super Stores. A leader in Hawaii’s business and civic community, Taniguchi is dedicated to transforming health care delivery, payment and attitudes to create a sustainable health care system in East Hawaii.
This column was prepared by Community First, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization led by Taniguchi and supported by a volunteer board of local community leaders. Community First was established in 2014 to help the community respond to the health care cost crisis and support initiatives that change health care from just treating disease to caring for health. To learn more about Community First, visit CommunityFirstHawaii.org.