When Volcano resident Wendy Rhodes-Norwood gave birth in 2002, there were tears of joy — and sadness.
When Volcano resident Wendy Rhodes-Norwood gave birth in 2002, there were tears of joy — and sadness.
She’d been through 18 hours of labor and delivered identical twin girls. Her daughter, Madison, was born healthy and full term. But Madison’s twin, Abigail, was stillborn.
Abigail had died in utero, discovered via an ultrasound at 6 1/2 months. Rhodes-Norwood had to carry the pregnancy to term with one fetus living and one deceased.
“It was horrible,” Rhodes-Norwood, now 43, said in an interview Wednesday recounting the experience. “I’d felt so full of life before (the ultrasound) and then to carry that was very difficult. It was my first thought every day and my last thought every night. For the longest time, I just wanted to hurry up and get to the birthday so I could mark it. But when I got to that day, it was terrible because I had to walk away from my child and bury her. As a mom, you’re not programmed to leave your baby at the cemetery, it doesn’t work that way.”
Rhodes-Norwood and her husband buried Abigail with a hand-sewn hat, pillow and blanket from family in a private funeral ceremony in Arkansas, where they lived at the time.
It’s been 15 years since then and Rhodes-Norwood has begun an effort called O Anela Moe — which means sleeping angel — to create burial gowns and blankets for other parents who’ve similarly experienced fetal loss. She began about a year ago with help from her aunt, Hilo resident Lori Haverty. The two have sewn gowns using satin from recycled wedding gowns purchased at secondhand clothing stores.
On Wednesday, they donated the first fruits of that effort — eight hand-sewn gowns and two blankets — to Hilo Medical Center’s Obstetrics Unit. The gowns will be given to parents of stillborn or miscarried fetuses to bury with their child, or kept as mementos.
“I often say giving birth that day was like Chinese food — sweet and sour — because it was just that,” Rhodes-Norwood said. “Giving birth was one of the best days of my life and also one of the worst. … But making these gowns was so therapeutic because so much love went into each. There was a lot of prayer and love and healing over these.”
“It was hard making these,” Haverty added, gesturing to the gowns. “Because we know it’s not a happy moment. So it was hard but very loving and very spiritual. It was really healing and a bonding experience for us.”
Hawaii’s fetal death rate has declined through the years. In 2012, the latest year data is provided by the state, 618 fetuses in Hawaii died during pregnancy, translating to a fetal death rate of 31.6 per 1,000 live births. In 2008, the rate was 54.7 per 1,000 live births.
In Hawaii County, the fetal death rate was 42.9, or 108 fetuses in 2012, down from a rate of 59.6 in 2008. A fetal death is defined as the “spontaneous intrauterine death of a fetus at any time during pregnancy.”
Rhodes-Norwood said she wants to bring more awareness to the issue and how it affects parents. She said October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
A growing number of hospitals nationally offer fetal loss services. At Hilo Medical Center, parents receive photos of their stillborn child along with a foot-printed certificate, said Christina Ranan, Obstetrics Unit nurse manager.
The hospital also informs parents about burial and funeral options, including free cremation through Dodo Mortuary, Ranan said. She said staff also divvy out donated mementos such as stuffed animals and blankets, when they’re available.
“It does make a difference,” Ranan said of the mementos.
“It helps them with the grieving process because they have something. There are some families who don’t really want to think about it and don’t want the pictures but we still give them the options and we let them know, ‘If you ever want your pictures, we have them here.’ And we give them the number and let them know we’ll mail them out.”
Rhodes-Norwood never learned the cause of Abigail’s death — she opted to forgo an autopsy.
She said the first few months were especially hard because she was “so proud of my daughter (Madison), but I’d also think about what I didn’t have.”
Along with Madison, Rhodes-Norwood has two other children. She said each birthday they release a balloon for Abigail and she still has a box of mementos including a photo of her lying on a blanket snapped shortly after she was born.
Rhodes-Norwood plans to continue making gowns and wants to donate them to other hospitals and doulas on the island.
“I want (those parents) to know their child matters,” Rhodes-Norwood said. “That’s how it helps. Even if you didn’t get to stare into (your child’s) beautiful eyes, their life still mattered.”
Email Kirsten Johnson at kjohnson@hawaiitribune-herald.com.