It’s tourist season elsewhere but here in Hawaii, visitors come and go throughout the year. We had a short break with COVID but restless wanderers are gearing up again. Of course we welcome their itchy feet … don’t we?
Tourists are sometimes more akamai than they used to be, reading up on island culture and learning a few Hawaiian words. Mahalo for making the effort and if only everyone did.
I remember when malihini wondered how come we spoke English (having never heard of the illegal overthrow) and where the grass shacks were (gone to hotels, every one.) We winced at tasteless T-shirts about getting “lei’d” and snickered at fractured pronunciation of humuhumunukunukuapua‘a.
Traveling is a privilege and many go in search of new experiences. At least this is what they say but become irate when locals don’t speak their language or offer familiar food. Some seek places off the beaten path, unaware of the role they play in turning a secret spot into the beaten path. It’s also maddening to hear boasts of cheap eats and lodgings. A more thoughtful scenario would be to spend as much as possible in the place they’re invading. It’s called paying for the privilege.
Many use their vacation to escape from the humdrum of daily life by frolicking anonymously in distant climes. They’re happy to leave behind cares and woes but unfortunately, some also leave behind brains.
Exhibit A would be the British tourist who recently etched his girlfriend’s name on a wall at the Colosseum. The one in Rome. The Ancient Roman Colosseum, for heaven’s sake! The Italian police not only arrested him, but broadcast his name and photo around the world. What’s worse, this idiot claimed that he did not know the revered monument was that old.
Stop talking Mr. Chips.
It reminded me of a time I was in Rome, gazing at the ruins of the Forum. Sidling up, an Americano interrupted my reverie by exclaiming, “Boy, the Allies sure bombed the hell outta this place, huh!”
Stunned, I pretended I didn’t know English.
Yankee go home.
Here’s my thought: Baboozes should not be allowed to wander willy-nilly all over the planet, acting stupid, offending others, spreading national shame and embarrassment.
A friend once facetiously suggested that tourists should take a test before being granted permission to disembark anywhere.
I laughed but hey, why not? This might be one way to avoid spectacles like the one I witnessed with my own two maka on Kaua‘i’s Na Pali trail where a babooze was attempting to hike in heels, toddler in tow.
How about before filling out the pre-arrival agriculture form, visitors answer a survey with easy questions such as: 1.) Who was the last Hawaiian queen? 2.) Name one endangered species in Hawaii. 3a.) Which sunscreen should you use and b.) why? If they fail five out of 10, then back home they go, (along with that pet snake they’re hiding in their pocket.)
I wish more travelers would learn basic geography, language, history and culture when heading off to parts unknown. Classes are offered in some hotels in Hawaii but why not in all, including short-term accommodations, airlines and car rentals? How about seekers of hidden Hawaii sign waivers promising to pay for their own rescue?
I can hear the tourist industry demanding that I cease and desist. But if we want to preserve all that makes Hawaii a wondrous destination, we need to manage the marauding mobs and figure out a way to weed out the baboozes.
Let’s start yesterday before it’s too late.
Rochelle delaCruz was born in Hilo, graduated from Hilo High School, then left to go to college. After teaching for 30 years in Seattle, Wash., she retired and returned home to Hawaii. She welcomes your comments at rainysideview@gmail.com. Her column is published the first Monday of each month.
