Your Views for May 13

Decriminalize and tax it

So, proposed new laws might make it legal for cannabis dispensaries to grow pakalolo in sunlight, and nurses might be able to certify pot patients.

Whoopee!

Why not just decriminalize Hawaii’s biggest cash crop, and tax dispensaries and growers, like grocery stores and farmers?

End of story!

Why is that so hard for the politicians to understand? It’s about time government stops trying to protect people from themselves!

Fred Fogel

Volcano

‘Stubborn’ and ‘stupid’

Despite being a high school and college graduate, an adult professional with stable income and a contributing member of society, I am unfortunately an idiot.

No, no, no, don’t feel bad for me. See, I’m from Pahoa. That explains everything, right? I mean, after all, everyone from Pahoa is an idiot. I should know. I grew up there.

So, you can imagine my shock when I discovered that they expected us to learn how to navigate this newfangled roundabout contraption.

Don’t they know we’re idiots?! We can’t learn new fancy driving techniques! We live in Pahoa to escape society’s rules and expectations!

If we cared about change and progress, you think we’d allow the increasing population of bums and homeless to camp out on our main streets?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, roundabouts are universally feared and opposed until drivers actually try them for a while. Then, after people realize they decrease accidents by 40 percent and injuries by 80 percent, opinions generally change (Institute of Transportation Engineers, 2007).

But we’re stubborn, stupid people. You see, we have to have something to complain about. Otherwise, what will we do with our free time?

Go to the beach?

Volunteer?

Enjoy our relatively amazing lives in paradise?

Yeah, right!

There’s no way this will work. Learning to drive in a circle is simply too difficult. What do you take me for — a licensed driver, capable of operating a machine and making responsible decisions?

Oh, wait …

Kendra Tidwell

Pahoa